Undying Love and Dreams
by Momorin-kun
Summary: Syo's only beloved was Natsuki and he always will be. He already knew he will end up spending the rest of his life with the person he loved. An unknown blurry haze proved him wrong and a painful event played in his dreams whilst he met the opposite of Natsuki. Everything from him was taken by Satsuki alone. Syo couldn't even tell the difference between dream and reality. [SatSyo]


The blonde's feet screamed exhaustion as he ran and ran with his physical body as he could. His heart was beating rapidly; he even thought he heard the sounds of his own heartbeat. Syo could barely breathe and didn't have enough oxygen in his body, panting in every step he took.

The Saotome Academy building was so silent at this late of night, not even a single faint of sound he could hear. The teenage boy really wondered why there was not even a single security here, or any teachers he usually expected. He doesn't even know why but he felt the atmosphere was so strange at this moment.

He was terrified since he's alone in this awfully quiet building, not a single life form in sight. To be honest, Syo was never alone before. He always had his friends side by side. Now, he had a hard time getting used to loneliness he never experienced in such a long time.

In front of him was a long dark hallway leading to pitch darkness, something's not right but tossing away his cautions; he ran clumsily. He turneveryone~

d met yet again with another hallway of darkness. The now panic blonde turned right and the results are the same. _What is this?_ He ran and ran but he ended up where he started. It's like a maze. Now he's sure something is strange.

The exhausted boy slowed his feet a little and then, he saw a colour not in black and not that far from him. It's a wooden door, his eyes glinted with small ray of hope; but they switched to pale life when he suddenly heard footsteps from behind him. He quickly faced behind his shoulder, frozen in his place. _Is he still following me?_

The brunette was surprised that he suddenly felt the corner of his eyes starting to produce tears. Awfully frightened, he doesn't look back and ran to the tempting door. Opening it with little strength he had, he stepped into unknown room; almost tripping – he closed and immediately locked it.

Catching up his breath, cold sweat plastered on his face as he laid his back against the door. He doesn't think anything except exhaustion and he needed some rest. Short legs gave up and he fell to the floor with a small thud; his back still resting against the door. He scanned around the room he tumbled to and he hinted that this is the Class B's room

Why did he end up here? Why did he only saw this place? That doesn't matter now. The heart calmed down, his eyes grew tired and no energy was left in his small petite body. Syo knew this wasn't the time to do this, but he's just so exhausted from hours of running non-stop; his body and eyes really needed some rest.

Checking twice to see and hear if his surrounding was safe, he slowly closed his eye lids and he almost went to dreamland when the door was suddenly knocked- No, almost like a harsh punched; he forcefully open up his eyes and he backed away and kicked his feet from the direction of the door.

Those awful beats inside his chest is back and his breathing was uneven, every inch of his body trembled with utmost fear. Tears welled up at the corner of his eyes and a drop of tear streamed down his cheek without any reasons. Maybe from fear or due to the current situation he's in.

More massive punches were added onto the door from the other side, the latter didn't even dare to guess who or what was behind it. At this rate, the door will break open. He looked again around his surroundings. _Eh? The back door of the classroom is gone? How…?_ There's no other choice, he stood up and fell to the ground; body still need some recovery.

Yet, the brunette forced himself up again, and went to the windows. With quick action, he tried to open up the windows but to no avail. Even though he put more little strength in opening them, but they won't budge even a bit.

The outside looks normal, the beautiful light from the moons glimmered into the classroom; making the room not dark as he expected. The outside was the usual garden Saotome's custom and original. But still, no one in sight. The punches from the only door don't stop even for a second.

There's no way out for him. There's nowhere to hide, it's just a classroom filled with the usual teaching equipment of tables and chairs. And adding up with the exquisite piano and decorations. No choices were left for him and he quickly ran to the corner at the back of the room. Hugging his knees to his chest as close as he could, he became a small ball.

The door continued being abused and he tried to run away or close himself from the sounds by covering his ears, however, his efforts were futile and he could still hear the echoed punches of the door breaking. Tears formed more and more in his eyes, vision become blurrier by the second; fresh and salty liquid flowing down his face.

Gritting his trembling teeth together, he hopes this nightmare will be over soon. Praying that he will escape form this situation he doesn't deserve from the start. More harsh sounds were added to the door. This time, it's sound like heavy kicks. Is the thing or person being impatient right now? He shut tightly his eyes as he could. In not a moment too soon the door will be-

 _Crash._

The sounds of the door being broken down rang to his covered ears; he still kept his eyes close, not letting his curiosity get into him. After all those sounds, everything just stops. He couldn't hear a thing. Everything was awfully quiet until he heard calm footsteps closing distance with him. He didn't even tried to hide himself and was obviously found from his bright presence in the corner.

His heart beats so rapidly, and he just wanted to die from this suffocating moment. With every step he heard, tears never failed to stream down even though his eyes were close completely. That's the moment when he felt the presence of a darker shadow spreading the already darkness of his shaking eyes.

Everything went mute, the footsteps stop; already knew that the person end it tracks in front of the small blonde. He waited, and waited to be ready for what's next to come, but after like half a minute pass; the quietness and curiosity hit him hard and timidly open his eyes without any third thought.

Looking immediately up to the person in front of him, his sight was quite a blur and everything he saw though his tear-filled eyes are just a mess. But no doubt that he spotted colours of blonde from the person's head and a pair of green dots. No… It couldn't possibly him. He blinked his eyes a few times and his line of sight clear up a little, and he immediately regretted to ever opening up his eyes; because the person in front of him was the terrifying beast who's been chasing him all night.

"S-Satsuki…"

His vocals sounded are so weak and hoarse; he couldn't even recognize it as his own. He tasted salty liquid from his taste buds that actually came from his new fresh tears he didn't realize he created. Face gone pale and his sapphire orbs lost their light from the sight in front of him.

This is totally a nightmare. Where's Natsuki? Why is Satsuki here? He worked so hard in his life to kept Satsuki to never come out ever again, so that he could never harm others. Especially him. But why is he here? _I'm scared… I'm scared… I want to be save… Natsuki…_

The called name looked down at the pitiful idol with and icy gaze green of darkness. He can't read anything from his frowning and angry expression but the only thing he read from his orbs is pure… lust…?

With that scary thought came across his broken mind, he shamelessly tried to crawl away from his position; since he was cornered and he blamed himself to not at least try to concealed himself. However, to no avail he was forcefully pulled back in his place when strong fingers gripped his sensitive hair so painfully and was push onto the floor on his back.

He screamed in sudden pain because he felt like his nerves were pulled. Sobbing and screaming like a naïve child is all he can do as he tried closing his eyes and hope to end this dream forever. As unfortunate as usual, his locks were pulled upwards and he chocked a painful scream and were pulled until his feet were no longer on the floor.

He stood in mid-air, only being supported by the hand that didn't show any restrains. He gritted his teeth to stop his shouts and sobs but his efforts were totally worthless and he could only cried for help as he tried to relieved his pain by closing his eyes and think of other thoughts.

No matter what, his sensitive hair was about the rip out of his head any moment now, he thought crazy-like. He grabbed the familiar big hand that's only holding him and did his best to push the person's hold. As predicted, he lost the small ray of hope to escape and he was slammed to the wall next to him.

He shrieked in pain, his body doesn't look like the build-type and he was always the smallest of all the male students. His body received invisible burns from the sudden contact to the concrete wall. He opened his eyes, trying to overcome his nightmare in front of him; a new batch of tears came down his face as he realized he was just inches away from the beast.

No words yet spoken from the abuser and he now stared at the blonde's face with an unpredictable cold frown. The only sounds that filled the classroom are the latter's sobs and after-effect hiccups. The roots of his hair still hurt like hell; the hand doesn't show any hints of letting go.

"P-Please… Satsuki… L-Let me go…"

He requested for freedom from the beast between his ugly sobs and hiccups. Looking at Satsuki that showed he needed freedom so badly He could even taste blood at the tip of his tongue without knowing the reason why.

"Crying like a child from this… How shameless, brat."

His first insult made his heart broke inside and he just wanted to get away from this person. He's so surprised that Satsuki's voice is very deep and cold unlike Natsuki who's always cheerful. It's been so long since he met Satsuki. But he didn't know their reunion would be like this.

Suddenly, the hand that's suddenly holding his hair let go and his feet finally met with floor. His mind was still functioning what just happened, however, too late to process the turn of events; his legs were forcefully grabbed and spread, so that his legs would force to wrapped themselves around Satsuki's waist.

The only weight supporting him was his legs that hug the other's waist and his back at the hard wall. His wrists were held together by the same hand that abused him a while ago, and were placed above his head. He doesn't know why he was put into this position and he faced the abuser for any answers, but he could only see plain lust…

"N-No… Satsuki… Please…"

He took action to struggle his way out but he was kept back to the remained position. When suddenly, he felt Satsuki's other hand pulled away the pastel pink tie around his neck from his daily outfit and his skin burned from the fast friction.

He already knew what's going to happen as the beast used the small piece of silk to tie it tightly around his wrists, too tight for his small and weak body. Unexpectedly, his shoes were also being taken off for unknown reasons.

He failed to realized now he was bounded, not knowing what will come next; he pleaded to let go. As the same as all of his previous cries, he was completely ignored. His hands were place above his head for easy access. He gasped as he saw Satsuki ripped off the high fabric of his shirt with ease and he was embarrassingly exposed to the hungry beast in front of him. He closed his eyes tightly, facing down to the floor and his face burned from the cold gaze of the other.

"H-Help… Anyone…"

He whispered as quietly as he can but the other; however have sharp hearing and a hand immediately ripped his face direction from the ground at what comes next really shocked him. His lips earned a rough kiss and endless tears were already coming out of the corner of his eyes.

 _No, Natsuki was supposed to be the first person he kissed._

Syo worked hard to knit his lips as close as he can but then, he gasped from the sudden pain of fingers pinching one of his nipples. Satsuki took this an opportunity to attack his mouth and their tongues fought together to find the one who dominates. Though, it's clearly obvious to who wins the battle.

Gotten trapped in Satsuki's kisses, he didn't realized the beast already undo Syo's belt that kept his pants up. When both of his pants and boxers were removed with one swoosh, he choke a moan as he felt his private bottom met contact with the cold air. He also didn't realize that not only his face, but his whole body burned from the poison touches. Now, he completely felt exposed and naked in public, more particular, in front of Satsuki alone.

 _No, Natsuki was supposed to be the first person he showed his body to._

Strong hands roamed themselves in every inch of his body. When a hand touched one of his nipples and he shudder from his touches. A hard pinch came by next and he screamed from the electrified pain from his chest. The small pink bud was quite soft at first, but after the abuse; it become so hard and so erected.

When the nipple was being played, twitch, pinched all the fingers wanted, the other were left untouched from the abused; but Satsuki wouldn't want that. He brought his lips in front of the tender and soft bud and put it into his mouth eagerly.

Syo moaned from the wet heat from his nipple and he unconsciously brought his bounded hands onto Satsuki's hair and tried to stop him. When Satsuki felt he was rejected a moment there, he gave a sudden warning to the blonde by punishing him and bit the now hard bud; his hands still playing with the other one. He licked it afterwards and expected so many reactions from the shorter one.

"So lewd. You only got hard from small touches? How weak."

Syo whimpered as he heard those words between his slutty moans. Satsuki brought down a hand to the blonde's small cock. Glistening pre-cum dripping from the tip to the base of the erected cock. He wrapped his large hand around it and Syo tried to get away from his touches by kicking his feet in the air and Satsuki found it hard to hold the shorter one around his waist.

He gave a small squeeze to the small thing in his hand, which made the latter's struggles stop immediately and weaken the boy's movements. Satsuki made a decision to have better access to savour him and made a move. The small one suddenly felt the beast's hands stop touching him and instead they move to his naked hips, adjusting them so that his legs were completely hugging his waist like a baby koala would do with its mother.

He had no idea what will Satsuki do next, and he already knew what's going on when the taller retreated him from the wall; a hand holding his upper back and the other resting on his silky hair. The taller one carried him away from the wall. Scared out of his soul, he wrapped his bound arms around his abuser's neck, resulting his creamy skin hugging closely to the other's chest.

Somehow, he noticed the presence of warmth between Satsuki's touches and this embrace. However, those fluffy and warm feelings inside his chest had disappeared when he was forcefully threw onto one of the student's table on his back, the skin that made a frictional contact onto the table must be scraped and quite red all over.

He was so confused and yet so embarrassed of this position he's currently in. Confused, because he truly doesn't know what's going on with the person who's hovering over him right now to even think of this position. Embarrassed, because he almost completely forget that he was actually naked exclusively for Satsuki's eyes to see. And especially, this position will have Satsuki to see more view of his semi-hard cock and his small ass hole.

His hands were still bounded from freedom, but oddly he didn't feel the pain from tight bound anymore. His mind almost fleeted from reality but then he suddenly gasped due shocked, he felt a finger poke his hole teasingly. For the first time he thought for a lifetime, is he being taken today?

"N-No. Satsuki! P-Please! Don't- _Ah!_ "

His lines were interrupted when a long finger entered him without hesitation and without any type of lubricant to ease the pain; his bottom hurts so badly, it burned the same as his cheeks right now – red stained with painful tears. The pain increased when Satsuki added another finger and he screamed being scissor along the way. His insides were stretch open to the beast's desire and it hurts so badly since he's still a virgin.

Satsuki already finished stretching the small hole enough to his interest, which was actually not enough for Syo to handle since he were force open; scared for what to come next. Then, he spotted the taller loosen his belt and took out his cock; shockingly so hard and big – it would be impossible for that monster to fit in him.

He tried to do the last of his struggles; however they were stopped when Satsuki held his sensitive cock in his hand and gave it a light squeeze, his struggles were already effortless from the start. The green-eyed held his small thighs down onto the table, pinning him onto the woody surface to prevent from further movements of escaping.

He looked at Satsuki with disbelieved and full terror; his mind was mess up by the dizziness and heat in his body. Satsuki just stared back at him with the same lust-filled gaze; he was caught by him when he saw those paralyzing eyes as he met him for the first time in a life time.

"N-No, Satsuki! Y-You can take away my first kiss, my first touch-"

He put up some courage to defend himself with words, trying to act strong behind his innocent broken cries. Trembling as he said every word, which doesn't have any effect on the beast.

"B-But you're not going to away my virginity! I save it for Nat-"

"…Natsuki doesn't exist anymore."

After he let out some of his shouting bravery, Satsuki cut his sentence off that made Syo have doubts from his words. He let out a small _'Eh?'_ and showed his usual dumb confused face. Satsuki's eyebrow twitched from the blonde's reaction, he was obviously annoyed right now because he hated people who don't understand the truth and the simplest of things. This sheep in front of him was proof of that.

"Natsuki was gone from this world. He gave up both soul and body. He even gave up the most precious beloved he ever had, the cute little Syo-chan."

Satsuki went to the point because he's so impatient right now and this brat just doesn't get it. The called name finally made his eyes lost the bright colours he used to have. Everything around his surroundings just went mute and dark; his brain can't function properly on what the beast just said to him. _Gave up? Natsuki did? Why?_ More tears streamed down his tears as he accepted the news as half-truth.

His most beloved had leave this world without even telling him? He wanted to spend many memories with him. Singing a duet on stage, adopting homeless puppies and kitties from pet shelter, trying different kind of flavoured ice-cream until his stomach can't take it anymore and many countless memories to come. However, those things will never happen in the future, because Natsuki was gone…?

Syo got lost into his own world and he failed to realize he bit his lips a moment ago and slowly draw out blood of the wound. The metal and horrible taste made him felt much despair than before. He wanted to escape from this dream already… Or is this reality? He doesn't know anymore.

"Now, every part of you is mine…"

He couldn't hear anything anymore, he only came back to his senses when a pair of lips devoured his own tremble one, against his own will; their tongues waltz together in each other's mouth. The metallic flavour of blood and mixed saliva spread through their mouth, forming into a taste of despair.

The dominant tasted every little part of Syo's cavern. He's doesn't know what to feel anymore, and got trapped into pure pleasure and of course, deep fear. He choked a terrified and painful scream when the taller enter him without any notice or hesitation.

His body shook continuously from the pain at his bottom. Satsuki was too big for him and he felt liked he was forcefully pried open, which was true. His walls burned from Satsuki's first thrust, he let out small cries and bucket of tears just continued to flow down his red twisting face.

The idol's virginity was taken, not by Natsuki… But Satsuki… All Syo wanted was just a sweet first vanilla sex that innocent couples usually do together. All he wanted was Natsuki to hug him like he always did with a big stuff teddy bear. All he wanted was an embarrassing first French kiss with Natsuki. All he wanted was to spend the rest of his life with his beloved, Natsuki… But all of those memories he wanted to have were replaced by Satsuki cruelty and despair for lust and pleasure. There's no escaping now. He went to the wrong path and met a dead end, and he cannot turn back ever again.

His chain of thoughts were broken when Satsuki gave his first thrust his tight hole, the beast groan in pleasure with the tightness; however the blonde were left screaming from the sharp pain in his ass.

His bottom lip started bleeding yet again from biting the soft flesh too much, and he tried to hold his bind marked hands in front of his face. He doesn't want Satsuki to see his face like this; he doesn't want him to enjoy his expressions. However, his hands were left above his head when Satsuki position them away with a stern look on his face.

Syo flinched from the same glare he always have and he immediately followed his silent order, since he doesn't have any freedom left. The thrusting continued on and Syo's back scraped from the table as he was thrust in, his body reacted with every thrust and his mouth spilled out slutty moans for the beast's ears to hear exclusively.

He doesn't feel any pleasure as they're connected for the first time. Without any type of lubricant to ease the pain, the pain was added extra since his virginity was forcefully taken away. His legs were spread and he never realized he was this flexible.

Satsuki entered deeper in him until he reach his most sensitive place, but then the thrusting stop as the tip of the beast cock met his pleasure place. Satsuki looked down to the place where they're connected, and a devilish smirk appeared on his lips.

"Heh, I'm your first, huh?"

He asked, not really expecting an answer from the sobbing broken doll under him. To be sure this was his first, blood oozed out from the short's abused hole; appearing red in the change of skin. As expected, Syo doesn't respond and remained pale and exhausted, suffering from the words and pain that was threw to him.

A small kiss was given to him for not responding and Satsuki continued thrusting too deep for the blonde to handle. His moans were muffled and covered by the beast's lips, the small kiss turned into a vicious and hungry one; it was hard to even breathe. As every hit entered him, he slowly felt the pleasure he longed from Natsuki. _Natsuki… Satsuki… Nat…_

The beasts brought his hand onto his nipples, playing and twitching them without any care for the other. This was so dirty for Syo. He wanted to end all of this. He was trapped into intense pain and pleasure when suddenly, he felt something weird in his stomach and he felt like he could burst any moment.

The taller saw the change of Syo's expression from pain to enjoyment, and he immediately quicken his thrust deeper as he could; his free hand grabbed the blonde's small cock and gave it a hard squeeze – but not too tight though.

When Satsuki did that kind of action, Syo immediately came onto Satsuki's fingers; covering his hand with his cum. Satsuki parted his lips from Syo and a loud moan escaped from the boy's lips when he met his high. He panted for little air as much as he could, but Satsuki didn't stopped abusing him and his thrusting was already in a fast rate than before.

Somehow, he doesn't feel any pain or pleasure anymore. He can't feel anything anymore. As tiredness took over him, he slowly shut his eye lids and he suddenly felt warmth in his hole which he wasn't too curious to even open his eyes.

The deep same voice called out to him and he obeyed it like a small puppy and opens his half-lidded eyes. In front of his blurry vision and gaze, he saw Sastuki licking his dirty-filled fingers and he didn't react or anything from the sight.

Satsuki came forward and gave a deep kiss to Syo, tasting himself from the connection. He closed his eyes once again; to be sure he will float away from this dream. The last tear escaped from the corner of his eye. As he was drifted away to sleepiness, he heard the faintest of a voice he ever heard.

"Natsuki always wanted to say sorry."

* * *

 _Eh…?_

Syo's eyes shot open due to sudden surprised. He woke to his own shared bedroom with Natsuki. He faced left and right to remembered where he was. No doubt he's back on his own bed in one piece at least. A layer of warm sweat covered every inch of his body, he even have thoughts to take a quick shower later on. The covers were poorly kicked off from the bed, he actually have a nightmare; which he was relieved to have or having it becoming real which he would never wanted.

After mindlessly comprehend the situation, he quickly take a looked at himself next and he heaved a big sigh of relieve to see he was wearing his normal sleeping outfit of simple boxers and a pink tank top. Decreasing his worries, he looked at the corner of his eyes to have a quick peek at the clock on the wall. He read the numbers with blurry and squinted eyes.

Confident that he read small numbers of 2: 37 he gazed where his roommate Natsuki was sleeping, looking across the room; his lips curved into a calm smile when seeing his roommate's sleeping position. The sleeper was happily unconscious with the mascot ducky he's always obsessed with in his arms, embracing the cute yellow plush with love.

A small line of drool escaped the corner of his lips and he had a calm and dreamy expression on; predicting that he might have a nice dream. What Syo felt more relieve was that Natsuki was still wearing his glasses which were the only single thing than could keep Satsuki from coming out. For some reason, his body was totally wrecked and glistened with sweat, even though their room comes with a functional air conditioner.

Might as well walk over to his beloved even if sleeping with him will help the heat. He stood from the side of his bed with wobbly feet, which was added to his curiosity that his legs were never this unbalance before every time he woke up. Must be because of yesterday's classes that made his body exhausted. Tossing away those unnecessary thoughts, he went across the room with lazy steps; his mind was still hazy from the previous negative events from his dream.

He laid his body beside Natsuki's sleeping form, scotching closer to him as he could with his small body of his compare to the taller. He rested his head under Natsuki's chin, and he got drunk into the warmth of their body together.

However, the duck was in his way and he wanted more of Natsuki's warmth, so he tried to make a move and did his best to carefully remove the stuff duck from the taller's tight embrace. He wanted to take its place and become a hug pillow for Natsuki; he gotten so embarrassed even thinking about this to himself. When he successfully removed it without waking up the other, he scotched closer to the taller chest and he got taken by the beautiful scent of his Natsuki.

When suddenly, Natsuki's long arms wrapped themselves around Syo's petite body; which truly shocked the brunette at first. When suddenly, he saw that Natsuki was still sleeping peacefully; he let it through and went with the tight embrace – relaxing from warmth. A comfortable smile stretched on his lips, he's glad that was just an idiotic dream that he should erased from his memories immediately.

"That's just a dream, huh?"

He chuckled to himself and had an amused mind. This was the usual Natsuki he always loved. That's it; all he needed was Natsuki to be beside him forever. Since it was still too early to get up and he got drunk be the warmth, his sleepy eyes drooped and he was slowly taking in sleepiness; hoping he will have a more wonderful dream this time.

"…Unfortunately, it's not."

Syo's eyes shot open and he lost all the sleepiness in his body and he looked up to where the awfully familiar voice coming from. Of course, it was obviously Natsuki since the voice was from the only other person inside the room; but the tone was just so different – flared with deepness and serious tone. A voice that belongs to Natsuki, yet it doesn't. A voice that truly resembled someone the same.

 _Satsuki._

The same glare and cold gaze looked down to him behind those glasses. _Nat…? Satsuki…?_ Why is it Satsuki that's hugging him so tightly? When it would be truly impossible for Satsuki to appear with those glasses on, was all that actions of Natsuki's habits were all simple acting? His whole body went completely frozen and the corners of his eyes were already loading with beads of tears.

He tried to tell himself that everything from the start was a dream, an idiotic simple dream. Satsuki proved his broken mind wrong when the beast's hands brought Syo's small and lifeless ones in front of the blonde's face. His eyes widen as he clearly saw red deep marks on his wrists.

"Eh…?"

 _It's not a dream._

 _ **Fin.**_

* * *

 **[Momo's Note]**

Hello, reader! If you read this story until the end, thank you so much for doing so and I do hope you enjoy the story. I do apologize for my crappy English since I'm one of the worst students in English class. This was actually my first one-shot, and it's a cliché story, huh? I know this one didn't ended up as a not-so-happy ending, but I thought the ending suits the plot the best in my option, because this was a story of SatSyo and I really do love writing angsts genres. This was made for satisfying my interests and the ending was planned from the start. =q=

 _Note: When Syo woke up, why didn't he felt any pain from his bottom when he was actually abused before? Because he can't feel any pain from his bottom anymore._

Just asked any questions and I will try my best to answer them! Any type of feedback is appreciated. Have a nice day, everyone~ ^w^/


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